"Sometimes we get too busy to actually dream. We find ourselves living in routine and we almost become patterned or unconscious of the fact that we are no longer choosing or creating, we're just imitating and conforming."
-Erwin McManus
I've been listening to Erwin McManus' podcast lately, and the first couple minutes of it seem to be replaying over and over in my mind.
I just finished my homework, and looking back on my day, I can't say that I did something that inspired me or encouraged me to keep learning and pursuing my dreams. I woke up, went to school, came home for ten minutes and then I went to work on an out-of-class group project. Following that, I began my homework, ate dinner, and then went back to homework. I skipped small groups tonight so that I would be able to have enough energy tomorrow to get up and do it all over again. So it's 10:55 right now. I know that I should go to bed because I'm tired, but it's nice to be doing something other than stoiciometry or reading spanish novels.

I guess I'm missing something. I guess I fail to see the reasoning behind students attending school from 8:00 - 3:00, and then doing homework for sometimes at least four hours after that. Maybe it's just schools in the western suburbs, maybe not all schools are this obsessive . But even if its only a few, does it make it right? I wonder what it would look like if dedicated students had time to actually be inspired, time to dream, time to create. There are so many things (including dreams) waiting to be discovered, and I wonder how many have been shoved aside or silenced. I honestly don't even know how I would go about doing this in the future, but that doesn't mean I won' try.

Christmas is for the kids.

Christmas is for the kids, and for those that still believe in Santa.

I disagree.

I was talking about Christmas with an adult today. Mainly about how he/she didn't really expect anything from anyone because he/she doesn't really need or want anything.

Christmas is for the kids.

This comment was sort of thrown out on the table, and with me being the way I am, I really picked it apart and over-analyzed it in my mind. I guess the logic behind this comment was that adults can buy things for themselves whenever they want, whereas kids look forward to the holiday in anticipation for gifts they wouldn't normally receive. Christmas is for the kids because it is the kids that open all the presents on Christmas morning, its the kids that decorate the cookies or the gingerbread house, and it is the kids that have stuffed stockings hanging from the fireplace.

Christmas is not just for the kids. As hard as it is for me to break away from the idea that Christmas is only about giving thoughtless gift cards and eating spiral ham, I have really started to think about how beautiful it is. That God would become human and walk among us, that He would be born in a barn, become homeless, eat with the outcasts, and ultimately give His life for us.
Christmas is not just for the kids. Christmas is for the lonely, for the discouraged, for the broken and bruised, for the hopeless. Christmas is for the convict, for the heroine-addict, for the alcoholic. Christmas is for the prostitute, for the homeless, for the hungry and the thirsty. Christmas is for the poor, for the rich, for the greedy and the needy.

Christmas is for those in need of salvation, grace, love, acceptance, worth, and peace. Christmas is for those that need to hear and know that God humbled himself for them, that God thinks they are beautiful, that God deeply desires an intimate relationship with them, and especially that they are deeply loved.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life"
-John 3:16

My hope is that I would be able to communicate this message, and not only on December 25th. My hope is that followers of Christ would not only spread the Christmas message during the month of December, but would remember it every day of the year.

Christmas is not just for the kids.

walks

trish and i have started to go on walks in KLM. its nice. chilly, but very nice nonetheless.

thoughts.

School.
I really seem to want to be a teacher lately. I would love to inspire and encourage kids that need to be inspired and encouraged. I think I just have a strong desire to reform the education system, but I am yet to find out how and what exactly needs to change.

Christmas.
I really want to give something meaningful this year for Christmas to those i care about. I want to be smart consumer and not support companies that mistreat their employers. I dont want to ask for stuff i dont need, although i will be tempted to. I'm still thinking a lot about this one.

but i must go, because there is homework to get done. I guess spending 35 hours a week at school is somehow insufficient, thus making teachers give at least 3 hours a homework a day to make things "right".

Just recently, our family took in a lady named Pam. She works in the nursery at Union Church. She lived with her bro kinda far away and needed a closer place to stay while she worked in Clarendon Hills as a nanny.
So now that we have the background information, we may begin.

The other day I was vacuuming the basement while Pam happened to be watching TV. During the whole time I was vacuuming, I couldn't help but wonder more about her. What is her story? What are her dreams? When the vacuuming was over we made small talk about this and that, and then we got on the topic of what I was doing later that night. It turns out that I was going to hear a missionary from Nepal speak that night. Immediately she told me that she felt like she was being called to be a missionary when she was a senior in high school, that she was ready to go and serve. Yet when she talked to her pastor about it, he seemed to discourage her by saying that she was too young to be making bold decisions like that, and she listened.
I've been reading this book called "Do Hard Things" recently. It has opened my eyes to see that God has a plan for students such as myself, and those plans are no less significant than those of an adult. I was reminded of the book when Pam told me her story, and it made me realize that I need to remember that I am not too young to be inspired, to set dreams and goals, to see what God is calling me to do, to love, to glorify, and to act.

I'm going to get some apple cider now.

words.

"Its as if in life we are a metal frame structured in the likes of a skeletal system. every word that is spoken to us is the putty slowly manipulating who we are and who we are becoming. Unfortunately most of the time the words that we remember are all the negative words, it is our choice whether we are going to believe them or not. whether to make a statue out of the words spoken."
-S. C.

By Your Side

By Your Side- Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Those Who Have Been Hurt Tend To Hurt Others

So I wrote this blog a while back when I didn't have a blog. I want to officially post this because I still think about the following content often.

It was a rainy April afternoon, and I was on my way to the airport with Dan to pick up our dear friend Trish. As Dan and Stacia’s little Saab rounded the corner onto 55th street, a very large, low-riding Cadillac seemed to come out of nowhere and was centimeters away from side-swiping us.

Shocked and speechless, Dan and I both experienced the closest we have ever gotten to an accident. Seconds later, we encountered the man in the Cadillac at the next red light. This time, he inquired with great force why Dan turned onto 55th street when his car was quickly approaching. Dan then proceeded to apologize saying that he did not see his car coming and was very sorry.

Then the light turned green.

Just like that, at the simple change of a light, we were out of that mans life, and forgiving him for his frustration towards us seemed quite easy. Later on that same day after some reflection, I asked Dan what he thought that man was trying to accomplish by yelling at us. My good friend Dan responded by saying, “Those who have been hurt tend to hurt others.”

These words often times pop into my head when I feel like I have been hurt by someone who has been hurt themselves. Although this time, it’s not so easy to forgive. Its not so easy to forgive after a conversation that rounds a corner brings hurtful words that seem to come flying out of nowhere, leaving us frazzled, shocked, and wondering where those words came from. And instead of being centimeters from being side-swiped, these words pierce our hearts and can leave us torn and confused. After some reflection its easy to wonder if that person truly meant what they said.

“Those who have been hurt tend to hurt others”

Sometimes I wish that this were true: that those who have been forgiven tend to easily forgive others. I’m afraid that this isn’t always the case. Its hard to say “I forgive you” after we are left bruised, and forgiveness isn’t even directly asked of us.

I wish forgiveness was something that I could give as easily as I received. Forgiving others and healing takes time, yet at the same time gives us only a glimpse of the grace that has been lavished on us. I think David Crowder sums it up pretty well when he passionately sings,

“Oh, I can’t comprehend

I can’t take it all in

Never understand

Such perfect love come

For the broken and beat

For the wounded and weak

Oh, come fall at His feet

He’s the remedy””

Peace.

I have had a really hard time keeping my peace. I can easily get frustrated, and a lot of times I find myself on the brink of tears when I'm overwhelmed. So tonight when my Music Theory seemed to be in another language, and thoughts of everything else that I needed to do came flooding into my mind, I easily fell apart.
I was just reading John 14:27, and in it Jesus says, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid." As I was reading this verse only three minutes ago, I couldn't help but think of what a speaker I heard at a seminar say. She said, "Our inside world is like turbulent water, but when we spend time with God, it is calmed"
Remember when all of Jesus' disciples were in the boat crossing the water, and they got caught in a storm, with waves violently crashing over the boat? And through the whole time Jesus was sleeping, yet only to be woken up by his disciples asking Him if He cared whether or not they drowned. Jesus then wakes up, tells the wind to be quiet and still, and the storm seems to end in the blink of an eye. "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?", Jesus asks his disciples.


So its Wednesday night, my homework is taking much longer then I expected, and I have no idea whats going on in some of my classes. I think ahead to a busy Thursday and Friday filled with tests I'm uncertain about, and a weekend that leaves little time for rest. I don't really feel well, and I'm already thinking about trying to get out of school, even though I'm not that sick. It is in these moments that I easily brush aside the soft whisper, telling me not let my heart be troubled, and to not be afraid.
"Lizzy, peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid."

So may the peace of our Father calm the storms in your heart on this day.

satisfaction

The other day, my step dad Peter's friend came over for dinner. Let's call him Bob. Well, Bob got fired from his job a while ago, and according to what he said the other day, it was the best thing that has ever happened to him. You see, Bob has a new found love for writing songs, and is even writing a book with hopes of having it published in a year. He has dreams of making it big, and is planning on winning every award possible.
These great tasks at hand have consumed him. He works about 18 hours a day, and barely sleeps. He rarely gets out of the house, and has turned down many invitations to spend time with friends and family. When we had Bob over for dinner, the conversation was constantly within the bounds of his latest song, and if we trailed away, we would always seem to end up right back at his latest song, or his many themes in his latest book.
He is consumed, and towards the end of the night, I heard him say that he just wanted satisfaction from this all.
Satisfaction. I don't blame him, I want satisfaction as well. And as my desire to be satisfied, to feel worth, to feel whole, to feel loved increases, I can easily get consumed in whatever temporarily fills those desires.
What eventually happens is that we start getting consumed. Consumed with this or that, consumed with finding worth in grades, looks, ACT scores, our brands of clothing. We get consumed with anything; anything that makes us feel like we are significant.
Jesus did not die on the cross so that we would have to run around all over the place looking for people or things to find our identity in; to be consumed in fleeting things that will leave us left in the dust. We were created to find a lasting peace and rest in Him. And when we are searching high and low for something, anything to satisfy us, Jesus is standing there, wanting and deeply longing to abundantly fill those desires. My eyes are slowly being opened to the beauty of grace.

off to college

This Saturday, my family and I will be heading down to U of I to drop my brother off for college. I think this whole experience of getting my brother ready for college and sending him away was a lot harder on my parents then they thought. I don't think my mom expected to get choked up every time she thought of not seeing her little boy sitting at the dinner table with us, or sitting on the couch watching the cubs game. And we all know that these next four years for Nick will be some of the best years of his life, yet its still hard to see him go.
A long time ago, a friend told me that God has no emotion. And while at the time I didn't really think much about his statement, I now disagree with it more then ever.
I can't help but think of what God was feeling when He sent His precious son down to earth. And instead of knowing that His son will have an incredible experience, the Father knew that He was sending His son into a life of persecution, and an excruciatingly painful death on the cross. God knew that it had to be done, yet with God being a God of compassion, I don't think it was necessarily easy to see His son go through what He did. But at the same time, the Father would be willing to send His Son into sin for me.
I think that if we say that God has no emotion, it totally degrades the significance of His sacrifice. With all of this in mind, my eyes are slowly being opened to the beauty of grace.

cleaning.

I feel like I have been cleaning a lot lately. Most of my day today has been consumed with cleaning, actually. This is not necessarily a bad thing either. I enjoy it to a certain extent, and its a good time to think and let your mind wander.
So my mind has had a lot of time to wander off lately, and just recently I stumbled on something I haven't really thought of before. I noticed how much time we spend cleaning things, just so they can get dirty again. Think about it, it can take 45 minutes just to vacuum the house, just so the carpet can get dirty again. The other day I had to clean my dads fridge. I didn't really mind this, because I loved seeing the end product of a clean fridge shining back at me. But while I was cleaning it, I couldn't help but think of how much effort I was exerting into rubbing off the spilled soy sauce, knowing that some other type of condiment was bound to spill on the shelf again in the days to come.
While thinking about cleaning houses and the like, my mind shifted to a skit that I saw at the Planet Wisdom conference two years ago about Jesus making his home in our hearts. The actor that was playing Jesus was pretending to open rooms in a certain persons home (or heart), and examining what should stay, and what should go in each room.
I thought that this skit was so interesting because too often I forget about that fact that the holy spirit is actually living inside of me. And in the same way that I would take the time to clean a physical house, I need to take the time to clean out my heart, and sort out the things that should stay, and the things that should go.
So while I was on my hands and knees scrubbing an unknown liquid off the shelf of the fridge and getting rather sick of this whole cleaning thing, I wondered how Jesus never fails to cleanse our hearts, even with the knowledge that we will cloud it up again with another sin that can so easily be entangled.

My eyes are slowly being opened to the beauty of grace.

the lakehouse.

Let me introduce you to The Lake House. Some of you may not be so familiar with this term, but for those who live in the Western Suburbs, you should know quite well what I'm talking about. You know, the house you go to with a lake front view that you escape to in order to "get away from it all".
I've been thinking about this whole idea of having a lake house a lot lately, because in the summer many Hinsdaleans seem to vanish into thin air once it starts to get warm. Where did they go you may ask?

The Lake House.

More importantly, I've been thinking about what effect lake houses have on true community. I didn't have to search long before I found my answer staring at me square in the face. As harsh as it may sound, I truly believe that lake houses have the potential to destroy the true, and raw community that many of us long to be apart of. Think about it, how can we get to know one another at a deeper level when we are gone for weeks at a time, or even for just a weekend jaunt. And when I really started to dissect what it means to own two houses, I came across a startling realization. I realized that while our neighbors, whom we are supposed to love as our selves, are living on the sidewalk not even 45 minutes away, we are comfortably sitting on our plush couches in Hinsdale, Illinois trying to decide what house we want to be at for the next week.
But while I am sitting here on my plush couch ranting on how negative lake houses seem to be, I can't help but think about how many loving Christ-followers have lake houses, and use it for God's glory. I know so many Christians that have lake houses, and still have a heart to serve others, and would be willing to give the house away if God wanted them to. I understand that many of us are fortunate enough to have a house that we can spend time in during the year, or even lend to families so that they can have a nice vacation. Lake houses aren't necessarily a bad thing to have, and if God gave family a lake house to enjoy, they shouldn't feel guilty about it.
Now, in no means am I inviting all of those who have lake houses to give it to a poor person, or sell it out of guilt. But what I am inviting you all to do is to access how much we actually have, and compare it to how much we actually need. I think we will all find that we have a lot more "stuff" then we need.
Do we need lake houses? I don't know, thats not my place to decide for you. But I guess the real question may boil down to this: Are we investing more time into our relationships, or our "things"?

Purpose for getting a Blog.

Hello All.
So this is my very first blog post, and it may take a few posts for me to get used to the whole thing. But I would like to share with you why I decided to get a blog. I've been marinating on the idea for some time now, and I obviously made the decision to make one.
I feel like having a blog will encourage me to write a lot more but more importantly, I think it has the potential to strengthen true community; something that can be easily lost in a town like Hinsdale. So I am inviting you, my eager blog reader, to join me in exploring life as I know it.