When did it all go wrong? At what point in history did followers of Christ become more consumed with attendance records, neatly pressed shirts, and standing up at the right time than loving and building relationships with others? When did the church become just a building that we go to on a Sunday morning? Since when did the church become afraid to associate with those that aren't like us, to refuse to love on those in the darkest places on earth? When did it all go wrong?

three things I could do without:

1) rock 'n roll versions of classic Christmas songs
changing the key or adding drums doesn't make it original
2) pictures of Jesus
maybe his beard wasn't neatly trimmed. maybe his hair wasn't long and golden brown...maybe he wasn't white.
3) Hallmark Cards

we have a problem with water.

Back to School: Uganda from Living Water International on Vimeo.

God plays football and cleans fridges?

I was about to write a little something about God and a navigation system in a car, how he directs us when we don't know where we are. And tonight I heard that we need to pass the ball to God like we would in a football game, and sometimes I think we treat God like Santa, always watching and if we do something good, then we get the new video game or computer that we "need". I know I've compared God's redemption to a dirty fridge being cleaned, and when it boils down to it, I feel like I compare God to everything and anything. Sometimes I compare God to some relationships that are in my life, projecting negative consequences from those relationships on God, assuming that God acts in the same manner. What God do I know? Because the navigation system God and God-the-fridge-cleaner and God-the-football-player and God-the-present-giver isn't a God filled with grace and eternal acceptance.

I just feel like sometimes God gets lost in the metaphors.

something has got to go.

Jameson's, or something like that.

We went to Jameson's Charhouse tonight. I think it was called Jameson's, I can't really remember. Anyway, we were sitting in a booth munching on steak, of course, and I couldn't help but hear the man at the table next to me. He was flipping through a photo album and said, "wow thats a great picture of Jesus." My first thought was, "wow! How'd he get that?!" But I'm sure he was just looking at a picture of a painting or a statue.

So we were sitting in a booth at Jameson's, or something like that, and I got to thinking about what it would take for followers of Christ to look like a beautiful picture of Jesus. What would it take for those that don't know Christ to see the church and His followers, and be able to get a glimpse at the love of Christ?

I just read Lizzie Callen's blog, and I couldn't agree more. I am one of the followers of Christ that she speaks of, and I am also the first to judge and act like I have it all together. Somewhere along the line Christians have become a clique that assumed it was right to tell the "outsiders" that they are broken, but act like they themselves have it all together. I've got a pretty good feeling that many churches and Christians don't look like a beautiful picture of the love of Jesus. I've got a pretty good feeling that I don't look like a beautiful picture of the love of Jesus.

I must remember who I am. Yes, I'm a follower of Christ, but I'm by no means perfect or in a place to judge others. I don't drink or smoke, but I lie and offend and judge.

Maybe stepping out of our little cliques and getting rid of our Christian shirts, turning off our Christian radios, and peeling off our Christian bumper stickers isn't where we need to start. Indeed these things need to go, but maybe we should start with tearing down our high and mighty walls, and start loving instead of judging.

I've been thinking about Christmas quite a bit lately. While I was looking at my iPod today, I realized something.

We don't need the things on our Christmas lists. We don't need them, because if we did, then we would've gotten them already. Right?

Also, many of the things that we want are a newer version of what we already have. Think about it. Uggs. iPods. Cameras. Computers. Cars. Clothes. The list could go on and on and on....

Every single year, we get wrapped up in wanting the next best thing. We anxiously await Christmas morning to unwrap a new laptop, oh...and to celebrate the birth of Jesus.

How does the way we celebrate Christmas show the love of Christ? And what needs to change in order to accomplish this?

I don't know the complete answer, but I do know that it will take a lot less giving to those that have, and a lot more loving on those that have not.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9

Today is the day we refuse to be weak.

boys and girls

Today I was told not to think of myself older than I am. At first this was said through the cliche, "don't grow out of your britches", but then it was repeated, and this time, I was told not to forget that I'm only a girl in high school. I seem to disagree. What would our culture look like if every high school student expected more of themselves and weren't limited to just being a boy or girl in high school. We have potential, so lets live in such a powerful and wise way that goes beyond our years. You are more than just a girl in high school. You are powerful.

so much needs change.

North! Or Be Eaten

It always seemed to happen like this:
I would be reading Andrew Peterson's masterpiece, expecting to put the book down at the end of the chapter and continue what I was doing, but I wasn't able to. I just wasn't able to. The chapters always seemed to end in such a way that pulled me into the next chapter. When I finished reading book 1, The Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson, I anxiously waited for the next book in the Wingfeather Saga. The wait, my friends, was well worth it. Andrew Peterson out did himself again, so let me tell you a little about it!
Janner, Tink, and Leeli always seemed to be either in the near grip of a Fang (a lizzard-like creature), held hostage in a suspended cage, or at the mouth of a sea dragon. The three children set out on an adventure with their strong and graceful mother Nia, pirate grandpa Podo, and book-loving friend and mentor Oskar. They were determined to escape from the Fangs, commanded under Gnag the Namelss, and pressed on towards the paradise of Anniera where their father once reined. What I loved about the book was that it showed how Janner, Leeli, and Tink, regardles of their young age, were able to do incredibly powerful and courageous things. Not once did their mother or grandpa doubt that Janner could find his way through a Fang-laden town and across a vast Ice Prairie. The always believed in Tink's aim when we was using his bow and arrow to defend his family from an army of Fangs, and they put much trust in Leeli's never-ending courage and strength. This is a beautiful story of finding one's identity and becoming who one was created to be.
I would highly recommend this book. Highly. If you choose to read this book, which I highly recommend you do, you will find a beautiful story that leaves you wanting more.

a season of redemption

Redemption is a beautiful word for a beautiful thing. Taking something broken and making it new again gives me hope that I need. I haven't thought much about redemption before, but I feel like I'm entering a season filled with redemption. Not saying that redemption has boundaries, but I feel that much will be redeemed in the short time to come. The Season of Redemption, a messy season with many tears, I'm sure, but a beautiful season at that. I'm anxious and scared, but powerful and courageous. In the beautiful mess of this season, a new light will be shed on the lovely act of grace.

May we never forget that Jesus is here and redemption is near.

Keep it fresh,
E.M. Brady

Colin on his first day of school. He picked out his outfit.
Adorable.

My hope is that one day I would be powerful and courageous enough to say exactly what I see.

In the rain.

Today we got drenched in the rain. As we walked home from school, Trish and I got drenched in the rain. It was the kind of rain that saturates clothes down to the very last fiber. The kind of rain that makes puddles in shoes and washes mascara down faces. It threatens books, and ruines electronic devices (luckily, I had my insulated scooby-do lunch box to protect the frog on my nalgene and my cell phone). I've seen and felt much rain lately.
Since school started, I found myself completely forgetting about God's presence throughout the day. So much so, that in the evenings I would usually get an overwhelming feeling that I forgot about something really important. You know what I mean, the kind of feeling you get when you forget your wallet in Wendy's, when you just missed Sonic's happy hour deal, or when you realize you just missed hashbrown-selling hours at McDonalds. So I would feel so discouraged when I failed to embrace His presence especially in the times when I was nervous, frustrated, annoyed, or confused.
I've seen and felt much pain lately. The kind of pain that saturates hearts with sorrow. The kind of pain that makes puddles in eyes, and washes mascara down faces. It threatens comfort, and ruins relationships. I've seen and felt much pain lately.
Yet I think half the sadness is this: We forget. I'm not saying that once we remember Jesus' presence the skies will clear, but we fail to remember how beautifully he restores, and how much he adores, when everything gets ruined in the rain.
May you embrace His presence in the rain.

This
is
what
my
cake
would
look
like.

steak fajita

And there was this one time when a prayer needed to be said. They wanted something short and something sweet. And there was this one person that was asked to say this prayer, but she had much hesitation because she did not prepare. Where did we get this idea, this idea that we have to present ourselves to God in such eloquent and thought-out words? Too often we forget how well God has searched us, and how well He knows us. So why do we still try to hide behind such words?

we all break the same.

On Sunday night, the night after we got back, Christie and I just walked around town, like they do in Thoreau. We walked around with eyes that had a hard time justifying the things we saw. Blessed to live in Hinsdale, but wondered what it would be like to grow up in a normal town. As we walked around town, like they do in Thoreau, we talked about the differences, both tangible and intangible.
The differences. On the bus ride home from Thoreau, while it was still fresh in our minds, we were to brainstorm how we would bring what we learned in Thoreau back home. Surely we would forget about Thoreau once we got immersed in Hinsdale again, right? A town so different from Thoreau that they shouldn't even be compared. As we walked around town, like they do in Thoreau, we talked about the differences.Yet I think all this talk of differences blinds us from seeing the many similarities.
I'm reminded of the many stories that were shared during our time with the kids. I don't remember many of the stories, but I do remember stories that had something to do with their future. I'm reminded of the kids that thought their future would eventually lead to jail or prison. I can't forget the stories that screamed, "Well I guess this is it", stories from heavy hearts with low expectations.
And this is what I see:
The idea that we will be nothing greater. That we have reached our peak.
The similarity is this:
Whether in Thoreau or Hinsdale, there seem to be hearts so chained to these cultures that they don't even dare to dream. The people of Thoreau don't dare to dream because of the notion that they will ultimately be nothing greater than a drunk Native American living on a reservation or in a prison. As shocking as it may seem, I see the same thing in Hinsdale, except this time, the lives just get patterned. Hinsdale doesn't dare to dream because they seemed to have already attained The American Dream. So what happens is that we become people that find ourselves saying, "well I guess this is it". People that think they have reached their peak, their potential, and stop expecting great things from their lives.
Do you see what I'm saying?
I feel like people get so wrapped up in the pattern of their culture that they fail to see the dreams that God has woven into their very own hearts.
This, my friends, cannot be.

Charm City Cakes makes cool cakes. If I were to get a cake from there, I would want them to make a steak cake. But with the minimum price being $1,000 , I don't think I'll be having a steak cake anytime soon.It makes sense that $1,000 is too much to spend on a cake, for something that you will eat and be done with. I think most would agree. We can say that its foolish to spend that much money on a cake, but I think we can say the same for most of the other things we buy. Charm City Cakes makes cool cakes, but for now I think I'll make my own steak cake.

And do you know what I think? I think you have so much potential to do so much good. Don't be chained to the low expectations already set for you. Take that idea, that idea that you are incapable of making a difference, and shatter it into a million different pieces. Because this is what I see: I see hearts saturated with big dreams and desires to be something greater. And do you know what else I see? I see a heavenly Father ready to take you on an adventure, one thats so much bigger and better than anything you could ever have imagined.
And do you know what I think? I think you have so much potential to do so much good. Thoreau, you have so much potential to do so much good.

It makes sense that comfort gets in the way of adventure. Comfort doesn't make adventure appealing, and adventure falls well beyond the walls of a controlled life. Discomfort doesn't sound too great either, and I'm not saying that we need to strive for this, but I never want to find comfort in a mundane, cautious life that is too afraid to take a leap of faith into the unknown. It makes sense that comfort gets in the way of adventure, so may we never be so comfortable that we fear adventure and forget how to dream.

"only sixteen"

I really should be going to bed, but I gotta get this down first.

One of my friends came home from college a week or so ago, but I just caught up with her today. Talking with her about how great her first year in college was really made me anxious and excited about when I finally go off to school. And on top of that, I keep dreaming of what it must be like to be a senior in high school, with graduation right around the corner. So I was driving to Jamba Juice today, and I began thinking about what my near future entails. It gets me excited to dream about the future, but I often times find myself dreaming more about the future rather than now. I want to be powerful and courageous, but I have a hard time getting past the fact that many sixteen-year-olds often times aren't seen this way. I find myself wanting to be older, to graduate high school and move onto college so that I can finally make a difference. I'm "only sixteen" and sixteen-year-old girls usually aren't considered powerful, courageous, or even women. It's almost like I'm waiting for a certain age to finally take a stand, to be courageous, and be seen as powerful. On my way to Jamba Juice this morning, I began to realize that maybe God can use me here and now. God even says that he has great things planned for me, and I want to believe that those great things are actually things that I will experience now, regardless if I am "only sixteen". I pray that I would dream big dreams for now and that I would start to become the powerful and courageous woman that I see in the future.

goodnight.

Where do I even begin, and what do I even say? I try to put into words our pain, frustration, sorrow, and disrespect that we feel, but none seem to exactly reach where we are right now. We try endlessly to please and perfect, to serve and to obey, but there is always something wrong. And at what point do we stop serving? Because I know one thing is for sure: We will not tolerate his disrespect. We will not let him walk all over us, telling us what to do and when to do it. We will stand up for ourselves, because we are worth more than he says we are. We do more than he says we do. We are different. Should we obey? Yes. But we need to be bold at the same time. So will we pretend like we didn't see, will we pretend like we didn't hear? Enough with the agreeing with what we know is wrong, enough with being silent. But will we be as bold as we plan to be? Will we be as bold when agreeing is the easy way out, when agreeing will stop the yelling? Because its one thing to say that we will be bold, and another thing to actually be bold.

So all of this anger and frustration is building up inside, and all i want to do is to fix his problems and to try even harder to please and serve, but I know that it will never work. It never has. I was thinking the other day of how Jesus meets us right where we are, however we are. So in the moments where we are sitting and weeping, He is there. He is there when we get hung up on, He is there when we feel disrespected. He is there, He is there, He is there. Oh, how easily we forget that. We so easily forget the love He has for us. We lose sight of His loving arms longing to hold us and tell us that He is there. Father, when will he see you? I mean really see you. I want that so badly right now. I dream of that day and hoping it will come.

So here we are with bruised hearts, watery eyes, and a strong desire to finally be bold. So Jesus meet us here so that we may feel your loving embrace and everlasting grace.

I've been feeling God's peace during this hectic week. It's been great.

enchilada.

I'm beginning to realize how deeply important it is for me to spend time by myself and with God. It's something that I know is good for me, yet it's hard for me to invest in, mainly because its harder to get a tangible product out of it. I can easily get frustrated, flustered, annoyed, or set off. And I think this is because I haven't been taking enough time to process why things annoy me, frustrate me, etc. So what starts to happen is that these unprocessed thoughts or emotions begin to show up throughout my day, and sometimes its hard to find. So that's just something I've been thinking about, and something I need to act on. It's one thing to think about doing something, and another thing to act on it.

Well on a lighter note,
I've officially decided to officially gather my thoughts about a book I want to start over the summer. My ideas have been marinating in my head for a while and now its time to fire up the grill! haha that was so cheesy but I kinda liked it. So yeah, I hope I can stay motivated to actually do it. Because its one thing to think about doing something, and another thing to act on it, right?

Type, delete, frustrate, repeat.

I'm sitting at my computer wanting to write something. And I did, but I kept erasing it all. I like to write, I really do, but sometimes I can't find the words to communicate what I want to say. Well, its a combination of that and the fact that I easily believe that no one wants to hear it. So I'm sitting at my computer getting rather frustrated. Its a viscous cycle, really, because I finally get the words to say what I want to say, but when I say it I start to believe that everyone is sick of hearing it. Type, delete, frustrate, repeat. It's almost like I need to take myself completely out of what I'm writing, because if I'm in it I'm afraid of people saying, "oh there's Lizzy talking about herself again". So right now there are so many things that I could write about, but I find myself holding back because I easily believe people are sick of hearing it.
Type, delete, frustrate, repeat.

hello friends

Its been a while, I know.
Today was the last night of my Spring Break, and I have to say that it has been so relaxing and enjoyable. I did everything from learning how to crochet to cleaning out a dungeon full of old dentist equipment. Actually, I would like to tell you more about the whole dungeon experience.

A couple of us from the youth group went down to Salem Christian School on Friday to help fix some things up around the school. Dan and I were assigned to the dungeon, where heavy, old dentist equipment and scraps of metal collected dust and mold. The dungeon was damp, and we probably should have been wearing a mask of some sort, yet we braved the conditions and fearlessly worked in the dungeon for hours. Our goal was to clean the place out; put the metal objects in the alley, and put everything else in one of the twenty garbage bins that the school had. I had a great time, actually.
We took many trips to that alley, hauling everything from a dishwasher to an X-ray machine. One time in particular, a professional dog walker happened to walk by right after we brought some metal to the alley. He seemed like a friendly fellow from the small-talk conversation. So we talked with him for a couple minutes, but then we went our separate ways. And that was it, he went for a walk, and we went to the dungeon.
Just before we locked up the dungeon and went in for lunch, I walked the last box of metal nails to the alley for the scrappers to pick up. I had brought metal to the alley probably twenty times that day, but this visit was a little different from the rest. A homeless man and his shopping cart loaded with bags greeted me at the gate. My first thought was that I probably shouldn't be alone in an alley with this man, but I quickly asked him if he needed some nails. As he told me that he would give the nails to his friend, I smelled the alcohol on his breath, and saw it in his eyes. And that was it. I quickly walked back and locked the gate behind me. I was still really shaken up though, almost scared, even though nothing scary really happened.
Its interesting to look back and examine the different reactions to the two different people that I met in the alley that day. I didn't know anything about either of them, but I automatically assumed that the dog walker was safe to talk to, and the homeless man was a threat. I talked about something similar to this in the upper room the other day, actually. I talked about the lifeboat theory, and how we judge other peoples worth or try to improve our own by what we wear, how cool our clothes are, how much we accomplished, etc. And I just realized a couple minutes ago that I did just that to the two men that i encountered in the alley on those two different occasions.
I saw a man walking a small dog that was wearing a cool jacket and hat, and decided that he was valuable in the lifeboat and someone that would be interesting to talk to. I saw a drunk man with dirty clothes and shopping cart full of junk and decided that he wasnt someone i should be talking to. And although this may be true, that it was probably best that I didn't hang out alone with the homeless man in the alley, what would Jesus have done if he was taking a box of nails to the alley, and encountered this drunken homeless man? I don't think he would have quickly handed him the nails and walked away. I think he would look past the clothes and the junk and see a man of value, a man worth talking to. A couple months ago, I had a goal to make everyone that I talked to feel like they were loved and important to me, a goal that would hopefully rid sarcasm and bitter comments. And I wonder how I made that man feel when he saw the fear in my eyes and how quickly i locked that gate behind me.
I can only speak for myself, but if I'm going to follow Jesus with my whole heart, I need to step out of the lifeboat and start truly loving like Jesus does.

it's been a while

May I recommend the pineapple bread from Kramer Foods?

MELANIE this post is for you.

my car smells rancid and i don't know whyI have a lot more homework to do but I might not do it.I smell like garlic becauseI just had a fantastic meal at Dan and Stacia'sI should probably stopprocrastinating and actually get some work doneand maybe clean my room?

chocolate. chip. cookies.

I had the privilege to babysit Colin and Pete tonight. We had a lot planned for the evening, some of the activities consisted of making chocolate chip cookies and watching a movie. We made the cookies first, because that was going to be the highlight of our evening together. It's always crazy making cookies with those two little boys. If Colin adds a teaspoon of vanilla, then Pete has to add a teaspoon of something else; the work has to be perfectly divided. We waiting nine long minutes for our cookies to bake. We were hoping to watch the movie with a plate of cookies by our side. Well, it turns out that Lizzy can't read or measure, and we didn't add a whole cup of flour. The soft and chewy cookies that we were eagerly waiting for ended up being nothing more than flat disks of burnt dough with a lot of chocolate chips. I was pretty bummed because we worked so hard on those cookies.

I've been thinking about the past, present, and future of someone that I know recently. I don't necessarily know what his dreams or aspirations were when he was growing up, but I do know that they got lost somewhere along the way. This really makes me sad. How many people do I know that once had great aspirations, and ended up asking themselves "what went wrong?". I fear that this will happen to me. That I will have a long list of dreams and aspirations, but instead of being fulfilled to their potential, they will end up becoming flat, dry, and looking nothing like what I intended them to be. I don't want to find myself wondering what went wrong, or asking myself what I missed along the way.

I don't want my life to reflect discontent and regret.

memories.

I'm listening to the band Between The Trees right now. I'm really liking them. I don't really have something to really developed to write about, but that's alright.

After small groups I dropped Trish off, and before she got out of the car we were talking, but we had to cut our discussion short because I was going to pee in my pants...and I didn't want to deal with that. You need to understand how many times I have driven up and backed down Trish's driveway...far too many to count. But tonight when I was going to back down the driveway, I thought about something new.
I don't know how well I will be able to explain this, but here I go:
The whole thought process started when I said bye to Trish. I have dropped her off so many times that it wasn't very monumental. One day in the future, I will be backing up and remember the countless times I backed down this girl Trish's driveway. I then began thinking that a lot of the things that are so familiar to me will one day be a memory. My room that is so cluttered will be a memory. My tulip duvet cover and leopard couch thing will be a memory. Some friendships will be a memory, and my involvement in the youth ministry will be a memory. The craziness of my house will be a memory, and seeing Colin and Pete race around our family room will be a memory. One day I'll be sitting with my kids, and will tell them about all of the things my mom, sister and I would laugh about, I'll tell them how much I enjoyed going to Borders and reading baking books. I'll remember sitting at the huge kitchen table with my whole family, as I am sitting at my own someday. This is so weird, and kinda sad to think about.

the carpet guy.

So over the weekend something happened with a pipe in our downstairs bathroom. To make a long story short, our basement got flooded and we had to get new padding under the carpet. The carpet guy was here today to lay the carpet back down and do whatever else he had to do. My mom wasn't home to give him the check, so he insisted on waiting half an hour until she returned. It wasn't a big deal, Colin loved helping this guy out and having him hang out in the kitchen. The carpet guy (I think his name is Berry) started making phone calls to his friends while he was chillen in the kitchen, and since I was sitting in the family room, I couldn't help but overhear his conversation with his friend.

I overheard him talk about his latest wife, and how they recently divorced, or were in the process of getting one. I guess they were together for 25 years, and I could tell he was trying to mask his pain behind sarcasm. He mentioned that his ex-wife didn't have anything when they met, other than a rusty and dented up car to her name. He was determined that the next wife he finds has some money, or at least a job. He was sick of being the one to provide all the time, and didn't like how much money he was being drained from the divorce. I barely know one side of the story, but it was a sad one regardless.

So there I was, sitting in my family room, "reading" a book, and listening to Berry talk on the phone. His language started to slip into some bad habits, replacing some adjectives with other four letter words. In the midst of it all, it hit me. I mean, I know that God is all about relationships, I know that. But I realized that God wants to be in a relationship even if we have nothing to our name, he doesn't really need anything from us, but we need him. He wants to hold us in His loving arms regardless of our bruised and dented heart; He wants us to trust him to provide. I guess I easily slip into the mindset that God doesn't want to hear from me if I don't read my bible consistently or pray a lot. Its so easy to believe that if I'm not a "Good Christian", then I'm a burden to God. Where does this come from? Because I'm pretty sure the bible doesn't tell us that God's love for us is determined by the length of our devotionals in the morning.

May we see the depth and beauty of His grace, remain in His love, and rest fully in His loving embrace.