Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
enchilada.
I'm beginning to realize how deeply important it is for me to spend time by myself and with God. It's something that I know is good for me, yet it's hard for me to invest in, mainly because its harder to get a tangible product out of it. I can easily get frustrated, flustered, annoyed, or set off. And I think this is because I haven't been taking enough time to process why things annoy me, frustrate me, etc. So what starts to happen is that these unprocessed thoughts or emotions begin to show up throughout my day, and sometimes its hard to find. So that's just something I've been thinking about, and something I need to act on. It's one thing to think about doing something, and another thing to act on it.
Well on a lighter note,
I've officially decided to officially gather my thoughts about a book I want to start over the summer. My ideas have been marinating in my head for a while and now its time to fire up the grill! haha that was so cheesy but I kinda liked it. So yeah, I hope I can stay motivated to actually do it. Because its one thing to think about doing something, and another thing to act on it, right?
Well on a lighter note,
I've officially decided to officially gather my thoughts about a book I want to start over the summer. My ideas have been marinating in my head for a while and now its time to fire up the grill! haha that was so cheesy but I kinda liked it. So yeah, I hope I can stay motivated to actually do it. Because its one thing to think about doing something, and another thing to act on it, right?
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Type, delete, frustrate, repeat.
I'm sitting at my computer wanting to write something. And I did, but I kept erasing it all. I like to write, I really do, but sometimes I can't find the words to communicate what I want to say. Well, its a combination of that and the fact that I easily believe that no one wants to hear it. So I'm sitting at my computer getting rather frustrated. Its a viscous cycle, really, because I finally get the words to say what I want to say, but when I say it I start to believe that everyone is sick of hearing it. Type, delete, frustrate, repeat. It's almost like I need to take myself completely out of what I'm writing, because if I'm in it I'm afraid of people saying, "oh there's Lizzy talking about herself again". So right now there are so many things that I could write about, but I find myself holding back because I easily believe people are sick of hearing it.
Type, delete, frustrate, repeat.
Type, delete, frustrate, repeat.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
hello friends
Its been a while, I know.
Today was the last night of my Spring Break, and I have to say that it has been so relaxing and enjoyable. I did everything from learning how to crochet to cleaning out a dungeon full of old dentist equipment. Actually, I would like to tell you more about the whole dungeon experience.
A couple of us from the youth group went down to Salem Christian School on Friday to help fix some things up around the school. Dan and I were assigned to the dungeon, where heavy, old dentist equipment and scraps of metal collected dust and mold. The dungeon was damp, and we probably should have been wearing a mask of some sort, yet we braved the conditions and fearlessly worked in the dungeon for hours. Our goal was to clean the place out; put the metal objects in the alley, and put everything else in one of the twenty garbage bins that the school had. I had a great time, actually.
We took many trips to that alley, hauling everything from a dishwasher to an X-ray machine. One time in particular, a professional dog walker happened to walk by right after we brought some metal to the alley. He seemed like a friendly fellow from the small-talk conversation. So we talked with him for a couple minutes, but then we went our separate ways. And that was it, he went for a walk, and we went to the dungeon.
Just before we locked up the dungeon and went in for lunch, I walked the last box of metal nails to the alley for the scrappers to pick up. I had brought metal to the alley probably twenty times that day, but this visit was a little different from the rest. A homeless man and his shopping cart loaded with bags greeted me at the gate. My first thought was that I probably shouldn't be alone in an alley with this man, but I quickly asked him if he needed some nails. As he told me that he would give the nails to his friend, I smelled the alcohol on his breath, and saw it in his eyes. And that was it. I quickly walked back and locked the gate behind me. I was still really shaken up though, almost scared, even though nothing scary really happened.
Its interesting to look back and examine the different reactions to the two different people that I met in the alley that day. I didn't know anything about either of them, but I automatically assumed that the dog walker was safe to talk to, and the homeless man was a threat. I talked about something similar to this in the upper room the other day, actually. I talked about the lifeboat theory, and how we judge other peoples worth or try to improve our own by what we wear, how cool our clothes are, how much we accomplished, etc. And I just realized a couple minutes ago that I did just that to the two men that i encountered in the alley on those two different occasions.
I saw a man walking a small dog that was wearing a cool jacket and hat, and decided that he was valuable in the lifeboat and someone that would be interesting to talk to. I saw a drunk man with dirty clothes and shopping cart full of junk and decided that he wasnt someone i should be talking to. And although this may be true, that it was probably best that I didn't hang out alone with the homeless man in the alley, what would Jesus have done if he was taking a box of nails to the alley, and encountered this drunken homeless man? I don't think he would have quickly handed him the nails and walked away. I think he would look past the clothes and the junk and see a man of value, a man worth talking to. A couple months ago, I had a goal to make everyone that I talked to feel like they were loved and important to me, a goal that would hopefully rid sarcasm and bitter comments. And I wonder how I made that man feel when he saw the fear in my eyes and how quickly i locked that gate behind me.
I can only speak for myself, but if I'm going to follow Jesus with my whole heart, I need to step out of the lifeboat and start truly loving like Jesus does.
Today was the last night of my Spring Break, and I have to say that it has been so relaxing and enjoyable. I did everything from learning how to crochet to cleaning out a dungeon full of old dentist equipment. Actually, I would like to tell you more about the whole dungeon experience.
A couple of us from the youth group went down to Salem Christian School on Friday to help fix some things up around the school. Dan and I were assigned to the dungeon, where heavy, old dentist equipment and scraps of metal collected dust and mold. The dungeon was damp, and we probably should have been wearing a mask of some sort, yet we braved the conditions and fearlessly worked in the dungeon for hours. Our goal was to clean the place out; put the metal objects in the alley, and put everything else in one of the twenty garbage bins that the school had. I had a great time, actually.
We took many trips to that alley, hauling everything from a dishwasher to an X-ray machine. One time in particular, a professional dog walker happened to walk by right after we brought some metal to the alley. He seemed like a friendly fellow from the small-talk conversation. So we talked with him for a couple minutes, but then we went our separate ways. And that was it, he went for a walk, and we went to the dungeon.
Just before we locked up the dungeon and went in for lunch, I walked the last box of metal nails to the alley for the scrappers to pick up. I had brought metal to the alley probably twenty times that day, but this visit was a little different from the rest. A homeless man and his shopping cart loaded with bags greeted me at the gate. My first thought was that I probably shouldn't be alone in an alley with this man, but I quickly asked him if he needed some nails. As he told me that he would give the nails to his friend, I smelled the alcohol on his breath, and saw it in his eyes. And that was it. I quickly walked back and locked the gate behind me. I was still really shaken up though, almost scared, even though nothing scary really happened.
Its interesting to look back and examine the different reactions to the two different people that I met in the alley that day. I didn't know anything about either of them, but I automatically assumed that the dog walker was safe to talk to, and the homeless man was a threat. I talked about something similar to this in the upper room the other day, actually. I talked about the lifeboat theory, and how we judge other peoples worth or try to improve our own by what we wear, how cool our clothes are, how much we accomplished, etc. And I just realized a couple minutes ago that I did just that to the two men that i encountered in the alley on those two different occasions.
I saw a man walking a small dog that was wearing a cool jacket and hat, and decided that he was valuable in the lifeboat and someone that would be interesting to talk to. I saw a drunk man with dirty clothes and shopping cart full of junk and decided that he wasnt someone i should be talking to. And although this may be true, that it was probably best that I didn't hang out alone with the homeless man in the alley, what would Jesus have done if he was taking a box of nails to the alley, and encountered this drunken homeless man? I don't think he would have quickly handed him the nails and walked away. I think he would look past the clothes and the junk and see a man of value, a man worth talking to. A couple months ago, I had a goal to make everyone that I talked to feel like they were loved and important to me, a goal that would hopefully rid sarcasm and bitter comments. And I wonder how I made that man feel when he saw the fear in my eyes and how quickly i locked that gate behind me.
I can only speak for myself, but if I'm going to follow Jesus with my whole heart, I need to step out of the lifeboat and start truly loving like Jesus does.
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