I absolutely love taking walks on a soggy, fall day.

Some say it rains too much in Seattle, but I think its better this way.

how does one measure courage?

Tonight it really hit me that I'm in Seattle. Freaking Seattle. And what I've noticed is that the weirder something is, the more Seattle likes it. This isn't true all the time, but a healthy amount of the time. It's been fun to see, really.

Seattle is where I am right now. It's early and I'm sitting in my room watching the cars drive past my window. Just beyond the building, that partially blocks my view, I can see the ship canal and the houses that are stacked over it. I woke up just in time to see the last bit of a foggy Seattle sunrise, and it was a good thing to wake up to, I guess. It's strange to think that this is my home. This room is mine, but its not really mine. At least not yet. Alright well my suit-mate is out of the shower now so I'm off to get ready to say bye to my mom, and have another awkward day. I think I'm going to like it here once this welcome week/summer camp thing ends.

SPU has a long clap that I learned, and at the end, we scream SPU and make a falcon voice haha

As I was driving home from Northwestern last night, it hit me that I only have one more day in Hinsdale. And as I was driving home last night, it hit me that every mile I drove was a mile farther from my hot boyfriend, and every minute I'm in that plane tomorrow is a minute farther from everything I know and love. Meghan made me an awesome CD (and got me a cool anthropologie picture frame-I know, she's awesome) that is jam-packed with all of our favorite songs. On the way to NU I was jammin like it was my job, but on the way home, the sound of our Toyota Ravioli, Scott, was just enough for me.

And to be honest, change is so damn scary. I guess I've always been one to blog about dreaming and "taking a leap of faith into the unknown" and not settling for comfort. Little did I know that one day I would look back at those blogs wondering how I could have felt that courageous. A good friend told me a couple days ago that I need to trust the process. To trust that I am where I need to be and that this seemingly messy change is beautiful and right.

And now I'm really rambling, but before I met up with Danny last night, I made a quick stop atDominicks to get 2 Pepsi Throwbacks (we like those). As I was getting my money out, a 6-pack of beer rolled up right in front of me, and I looked back into the eyes of a very drunk and sad man. "Back again!?" The check out lady asked him, and at that my heart broke.

And I don't know if encountering a drunk stranger or being afraid to go to college are related in any way, but as I was driving home last night, I felt like they were. Pain and heartache are all around, but so is the beauty of grace and the love of Christ saturating us with every staggered and drunk step that man walked home, and every scary minute I'm on the plane. Trust the process. And Seattle, lets do this.

bring it on.

The Grant Square parking lot.

I guess you can say I know the Grant Square parking lot more than most. All day at work, when I'm not washing hair or folding laundry, I'm sitting and looking out at that darn parking lot. What I've observed, and can almost guarantee, is that all driving rules are abolished in the Grant Square parking lot. The right side of the road is no longer the correct side, the speeding limit depends on how stressed one is, rear-view mirrors never seem to work, and whoever gets the right-of-way depends on who's agenda is more important, or, of course, who's car is nicer. It's almost as if people are driving like they are the only ones in the lot. It's a dangerous parking lot, really. So I've started to believe that sometimes life can get like this. We get so wrapped up in our life and our problems that we simply forget. We forget that there are other people that need our love and attention, and truthfully, we forget to put others above our agenda. Of course there are errands that need to be done, but there are also relationships that need to be built, and time that needs to be spent with our Maker, our family, and our friends. I'm afraid the latter often gets forgotten. Lets not make this life all about our agenda, and honestly, no one likes playing bumper cars in the Grant Square parking lot.

The peace that follows a storm is eerie. The trees are dripping, all bent and barely rooted from the wind. And as the clouds move past and the sun peaks out, it's hard to believe the peace. It's strange how quickly things can come and go. How quickly the hail starts pelting on our cars and the thunder shaking our windows. And as the trees are dripping and the earth is breathing, it's hard to believe the peace.

Tonight I looked up at the sky and wished i lived in a place that boasted stars. It's good to wish and dream and hope, but may our wishes, dreams, and hopes never blind us from being fully present and willing to invest where we are right now. To be fully present is very hard, and for many unattainable, but imagine the change it would bring!

booyah

Self-fulfilling prophesies are very dangerous things. They expect the worst, which inevitably make the worst come true; they make one believe something false and those false beliefs turn into actions. Self-fulfilling prophesies are very dangerous things.

Consider the famous Oak School experiment. Teachers were led to believe that a selective group of students had higher IQ's than other students, even though the students were selected at random. Over the course of the year, the students that were expected to be smarter showed more improvement than the students that were expected to be less smart.

"Simply put, when teachers expect students to do well and show intellectual growth, they do; when teachers do not have such expectations, performance and growth are not so encouraged and may in fact be discouraged in a variety of ways (http://www.ntlf.com/html/pi/9902/pygm_1.htm).

Self-fulfilling prophesies are very dangerous things.

My dream is to create an inner-city school that is completely staffed with teachers that have high expectations in light of students' potential, and that refuse to let students believe anything otherwise. Isn't this a huge factor in why so many inner-city schools have low attendance and graduation rates? Expectations are set too low for both the students and teachers. My dream is to design an inner-city school that dreams big dreams and expects great things. Idealist? I think so.

Self-fulfilling prophesies are dangerous things. But the beautiful, and even radical thing about it is that God has some really powerful and brave things to say about us, that completely shatter those beliefs that reside in our hearts and cause us to act on utter lies.

If we believe in our hearts what God has to say about us, then these self-fulfilling prophesies got nothing on us.