memoir.

For one reason or another, I think of my life in terms of how I would write about it in a memoir. I don't know why I do this, but I do. There are also times when I'm sitting in my room listening to music, and I picture that moment as a scene in a film--where the character is feeling either hopeless or hopeful as the music is playing in the background. It's in these moments that I step outside of myself for a second and see how that scene, chapter, or paragraph fits in to the whole story--how that scene furthers the main themes of my life.

I have one friend in particular that absolutely fascinates me. I could listen to her thoughts on matters of life, love, and God for hours on end--and I often have. She is starting to become an influential character in this chapter, as she is often the only person that completely understands my thoughts, frustrations, and dreams.

With that in mind, my friend was talking this morning about her anxiety of the future, and how easy it is to get wrapped up in those fears. The sad thing, she explained, was how our anxiety often blinds us from the beauty that is around us here and now.

To add on to that, I can't think of anything more beautiful, and terrifying, than surrender--to give all of our fears, dreams, and everything to our Creator. Sometimes I think that I'm living in the chapter titled "Surrender". Whereas other scenes in my life have pieced together the chapter "Redemption". But now I'm beginning to realize that redemption and surrender are not merely chapters, but substantial themes that are filled with beauty; beauty that I cannot overlook even in the midst of the fear of letting go.

It's November and I'm in over my head.

I found out this afternoon that my Interdisciplinary Studies application is due December 2nd...just about 4 months earlier than I thought.

Psychology. Sociology. Biblical Theology.

Here's to November: exploring, thinking, processing the questions I have surrounding women in the Evangelical church...while doing all of my other homework.