I think I'm turning into a post-colonial feminist. And I'm ok with that.

I used to fear normalcy. Until I realized that even the craziest, most radical life would get normal after a certain period of time. Living in a traveling nomadic community would become normal to me after a while. Normacly is inevitable, and I think that's ok.

I need to redefine my normal. Normal doesn't have to be something to fear. Complacency, yes, should be feared.

Normalcy is inevitable, and I think that's ok. Normal doesn't equal complacent if my definition of normal discourages habits that cause me to get stuck in a rut. Ruts are bad.

Nuts are good, though. Like the roasted nuts they sell in the mall.

What is your normal?

Goodmorning

Last night I had a nightmare.

It went like this:

I was walking through an office building with a man and three three other girls. One of those girls was my sister. The man was showing us around his office, showing off the things he has collected from all over the world. I couldn't focus, in fact, I was shaking from fear because I knew what was going to happen once show and tell was over.

We were then led to what I imagine a brothel looks like. We were all put in different rooms and were told to wait. wait. I was horrified. Absolutely horrified. What was worse, was that in the other room I knew my sister wasn't waiting. She was doing whatever this man wanted from her. And in those moments alone in my room, I have never felt so helpless and angry. If I could, I would bust in that room and tell that man to stop. I would tell him how beautiful, courageous, and precious my sister is. She is a woman, dammit, so treat her like one, I would say.

But I couldn't. All I could do was wait and pray that someone else would care enough to stop it.

And then I woke up. My head and my heart were racing a million miles a minute. Releived that my sister is safe at home, and I'm fully clothed.

And then it hit me: my sisters around the world are living my nightmare every night of their lives.

Goodmorning.

I want to be a nomad in a traveling community at some point in my life.

You're welcome to join, of course.

Salvage the broken; Create beauty.

Happy New Year, friends!

Some New Year's thoughts/ramblings I'd like to share.

This year, let's spend more time salvaging.

I can seriously spend hours in a thrift store without even realizing it--that's not an exaggeration. I don't go often, so maybe thats why, but when I do go, I can't pull away. My favorite section is housewares. I can't wait to furnish something other than a dorm. I went to Goodwill at the beginning of break to buy some Christmas presents (shhh) and fell in love with an over-stuffed, wooden arm chair. Sure, she has seen better days and was looking pretty sorry, but goodness she had potential. My problem is that I had no place for her to stay once I gave her a fresh coat of paint and sewed her a new outfit. Darn. Maybe I should rent a storage unit.

This year, let's spend more time salvaging.

I'm going to make a confession that could cost me, especially being a Wheaton student: I don't like K-LOVE. That's almost as bad as saying that I don't like C.S. Lewis at Wheaton. My professor confessed that once, and everything in the room frosted over from the chilly silence. Seriously. I saw it happen. The thing that frustrates me about K-LOVE is that it can lead many Christians to believe that there is only beauty in the sacred; a song is only beautiful when Jesus' name is mentioned twelve times. A painting is only beautiful if it's telling a bible story. A story is only beautiful if it has a metaphor of the Trinity. A movie is only beautiful if it doesn't show a broken family or use swear words. I'm not saying that Christians should listen to explicit music, trust me, I stopped listening to System of a Down in high school for that reason. But I'm convinced that Christ is in both the sacred and the secular.

I've been enjoying music by Jonsi lately. Jonsi is gay, and I know a handful of people that problaby wouldn't listen to his music because of that. His music is beautiful, and as a follower of Christ, I'm obligated to appreciate beauty in the same way that I'm obligated to believe truth. Let's not miss that. As followers of Christ we should be committed to creating beautiful things--creating beauty that brings this earth closer to the way our Maker intended it to be. Christians should start appreciating beauty more.

This year, let's spend more time creating beauty by salvaging the broken, ugly things around us. The things that have seen better days, that look a little sad, that need a fresh coat of paint and a new outfit. And let's pause for a moment and note that beautiful things don't have to be thousands of dollars and sitting in a display case. Please no. If you have a couple thousands of dollars to spare, invest it in something that will advance the kingdom of heaven.

Salvage the broken; Create beauty.

This isn't limited to the tangible. Goodness, no. This year, let's salvage broken relationships and create something beautiful out of it. This year, let's use our words to create beautiful conversations that inspire, redeem, and ignite a desire to follow Christ in radical and beautiful ways. The fantastic thing about all of this, is that we can collaborate with our Maker to make beautiful things. God is inviting us into His story, to join Him in the redemption process. I'm convinced that we can't do it alone.

Salvaging is messy, to be sure. Expect to get your hands dirty, to pull out stubborn, thorny weeds to make room for the tulips to grow. I'm captivated by the processes, especially the process of redemption. It's a beautiful mess, really.

I used to be obsessed with Stephan Christian from Anberlin. I'm no longer obsessed with Stephen Christian, and I seemed to have moved on to Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa. Anyway, Stephen has this great quote:

"Its as if in life we are a metal frame structured in the likes of a skeletal system. every word that is spoken to us is the putty slowly manipulating who we are and who we are becoming. Unfortunately most of the time the words that we remember are all the negative words, it is our choice whether we are going to believe them or not. whether to make a statue out of the words spoken."

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we all are all marked by painful words spoken to us. I wish this weren't true, but it is. We know this is true because we can each remember a painful comment made to us even if that was back in the first grade.

Words are powerful, my friends, and it is my hope for both you and I to use even our words to salvage. There is something beautiful about truth being spoken. Truth that is willing to get down on it's hands and knees, to chip away the layers and layers of caked muck, and make something broken beautiful again.

May you be inspired to salvage, to create beauty, to collaborate with our Maker. Encourage others to do the same--it will help them sleep at night.